Her waiting eyes were themselves weighted with a burden of guilt, but intertwined with an honest intention. He could see that; it made the pain even more unbearable. The life he had spent countless days fantasising had burst into nothing: Jane Hunter was never meant to be more than a reoccurring dream character. In dreams the two shared a flat, meager but furnished with their silent and utter understanding, growing young in each other's company. Till death do us part. The softly curious eyes that once drew him in were the same weighty eyes that terminated this dream: quite a paradox this love is.
-I've changed. . .It's not your fault at all.
Freeze frame. She was more beautiful and pure in this time of heartbreak and transgression, perpetual windblown hair, ageless skin. Mental photograph: A memory of a girl once so dear to me. It'll pass in time. Time heals all wounds, so they say. First week or so unbearable, then gradually human adaptability triumphs. Recounting past mistakes now; any words of reparation that may revert this inevitable. . .Naught. The point of no return.
-I'll always remember what we had. I am truly thankful to have spent so much time with you, I really am. It's just not the right time right now. . .maybe someday....who knows?
Hope springs eternal. Better to cling to irrational hope than crush the spirit. Is it? Crushing of spirit is a one-time affair. Hope is little more than a series of disappointments balanced by a masochist desire for even more. Reading my face for cues now; nodding.
-I daresay I am happy to talk with you this way, but I am happy you aren't cross. Take care of yourself, Gordy.
No more exposures left; memory banks full. Just as well, better get used to her departure. Drudge up idiosyncrasies that drove me nutty. Her constant biting of her nails---a dreadful habit indeed. Always confused at the cinema: Gordy, was that the bloke from act 1? Why has he grown so cross? Gone now. Jane Caffrey, free for all the world. But was once mine. A taste of honey's worse than none at all. . .