This Weekend in NYC

Get out of your apartments and hotels this weekend! Here are some interesting events you won't find in the Times happening this weekend.

Posted by Michael Bordash on Thu Jan 24, 2002

Thurs 24th

Launch Party, 6.30pm
Cellar Bar, Bryant Park Hotel, 40 West 40th Street
RSVP: 243-9076
*Crazy Scots! You gotta love them. Why? Well,
centuries of alcoholism and shortbread, laboring under
the yoke of British rule, has made them a perfectly
domesticated peoples, in a wry, explosive sort of way.
So forgive them for golf and those phony
Scotchtoberfest tickets you bought a few months
back—you haven’t been to a web site launch in a while.
Trace yer red-headed ancestry, or ogle celebrity
plaidsters like Nancy Girl, Kirsty Hume.

Party, 7pm
The Lighthouse, Chelsea Piers
RSVP: Kiersten 202 289 5850
*The Deafness Research Foundation is, we believe, a
cover for some criminal mastermind who has gathered
together the hard of hearing to brainwash them with
high-frequency radio signals beamed, via their hearing
aids, directly into their brains. Expect a keen-eyed
army (led by Rush Limbaugh) to terrorize the streets
of Manhattan tonight. OK, maybe not. But its worth
going just to learn how to sign "Vodka Tonic" and to
snigger at the word "cochlear." Oh, and to beat up
Leslie Neilsen.

Fri 25th

Birthday Party, 7.30pm
Eugene, 27 West 24th Street,
Info: 469 0999
*Yes, yes, nobody goes there any more—it’s too
crowded. And aging New York art folk (unkempt men,
bra-less old women) give us the willies. But Willy
gives us an open bar for an hour, and a (store-bought)
birthday cake. Background note: Sharp started the
short-lived Avalanche magazine in the 70s--A good
choice of name, since it’s all been downhill from
there. Still, while other septuagenarians are buying
leisure wear and moving to Florida, Sharp has more
staying power than K-mart.

New Museum of Contemporary Art, 583 Broadway
*True, most art, most anything, is completely full of
shit…here's something that celebrates that-an
artificial set of intestines. We finally answer the
question: mommy, why do I eat food of lots of colors
and it all comes out brown?

Sat 26th

Launch Event, 1 to 5pm
BARNEYS , 61st & Madison, 8th Floor
*"When it's time to change, it's time to rearrange"
squawked a rakish, puberty-stricken Peter Brady,
forever substantiating shortcomings as a pop-culture
selling points. Once a soothing anthem for pre-teens
hair-where-there-was-no-hair-down-there-before, Now, a
underlying tenet driving every trustafarian who could
thread their own needle to start a fashion label- with
knee-jerk acceptance in the perennially pubescent
fashion world. Case in Point, Alice + Olivia's new
line of typically low-slung pants, with
Seventies-style stripes as a twist! These fashion
illiterates with a style signature as original as an
'X', make their mark on Barney's disposable income

Mon 28th

Party, 6.30pm
133 Seventh Ave. South
Info: 545 3625
In the wake of Military chic and bondage-style, in a
year when living dangerously means more than downing a
vodka martini with a tequila chaser, don't be
surprised if missing limbs are the next hot look.
Thanks to Gwynnie's finger-less turn in The Royal
Tennenbaums, and Paul MacCartney's pegleg covergirl
wife, Heather Mills' Vogue-celebrated new ad
campaign, all the "smart money's" hanging out in the
handicapped parking section at your local Mall. So,
screw the Hollywood diet, get rid of 20 pounds of
unwanted flesh in the swing of an ax, loose the
Lambretta for a souped up Jazzy, and roll by the
identity-challenged, nameless ex-Moomba to make your
moves on a chick who
will undoubtedly be too slow to slip away from your
crippled come-ons.

Cocktail Reception, 7pm
Anthology Film Archives

Opening Night Party, 11pm
Info: 212-281-5786 or 917-407-2375
* Hispanic button! Coming like Avenue D, the Latin
American Cinema Festival opens with En La Puta Vida
(Tricky Life). Not a Ricky Martin comeback, but a
"touching film about prostitutes in Uruguay." As an
_auto da fe_ of our own, we’ll be giving the cocktails
a chance. You might want to skip the flick and swing
by SOBs for some sexy-ass neckline-to-the-navel
grinding. Ay, Caramba!

Tues 29th

Store Opening, 6.30pm
129 Hudson Street
RSVP: 957 3005
*Bill Sofield (poor man’s Rem Koolhas) designed this
high-end Ikea that hopes to carve its niche in
TriBeCa. Seems there’s nothing like a store opening to
bring out the celebs (all of them expecting a heavy
discount on the merch). Watch them as they spill their
champagne, crush volavents and cig-butts into the
buttoned plush sofas, and kite a question mark over
the profit margins of Mr. Baker’s showroom. We give it

Poetry Reading, 8pm
Gershwin Hotel, 7 East 27th St.
*Now that crap-fest, open mics such as the Klong Show
and homicide-worthy Reverend Jen Anti-Slams, have
provided an outlet for the mentally-challenged crowd
unable to trade food stamps for Prozac, actual NYC
poets can finally take back the stage! This week, the
"Live" reading series presents the Larger-than-life
(in both physical and pop-culture stature) Debbie
Harry who must settle for spoken word now that
svelter, younger peroxide blondes who can't sing, have
taken over her rapping reigns. $5

Provided by The Velvet List

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